Tuesday, April 15, 2003  

Hell on Wheels

This time last year I was obsessing over Puma's retro-styled Roller Kitty skates.

I could just picture myself skating through the park on Saturday afternoons, bobbing along with my Walkman on. (my "Thriller" tape would be a perfect accompaniment)

These Kitty's were so cute, so retro! And so much better-looking than any Rollerblades I'd ever seen. But I couldn't justify $150 for a pair of roller skates, no matter how cute.

So I started searching Ebay (do you see a theme here? Mary wants something, can't afford it and become obsessed with finding a substitute on Ebay). There weren't any fresh new Roller Kitty skates but there were quite a few original disco skates from back in the seventies. I found a pair in my size. They were cute, blue suede with white accents and orange wheels. My bid won! And when the skates showed up at my door I was thrilled, they fit and were even cuter in person. Always mindful of my personal safety (thanks dad) I went out and bought kneepads, elbow pads and some wrist thingies. Dorky, yes. But I figured my cool retro skates would counter balance the dork factor. Besides, I probably wouldn't even need the armor after my first go-around, I was an ace skater as a child.

On the first sunny afternoon that came around I put on a cute tank top and shorts, strapped on all my dork-gear, laced up the disco skates and clomped down the stairs of my apartment building, bound for the park. I made it as far the end of our parking lot.

I was a little wobbly standing there but then I got going and wheeeee.......this is fun!!!!...........wheeeaaa, wait a minute, I am going really fast!! I don't want to go this fast....slow down, stupid disco skates......eeeee!!!!!....how do I slow down?...aaaaarrrgg, there's a car backing out of a parking space!!!!.....gonna die....putting the brakes on.....not working...feet flying up....landing on butt, skids on butt about 5 feet, leaving layers of skin behind on the pavement. Oooow! The pain!!!! Even more hurt was my pride, standing there in a pair of stupid disco skates with a raw butt in the middle of a parking lot.

The skates spent the rest of the summer getting dusty on the floor of my closet. Andrew said he could maybe take them apart and slow down the wheels (to a nice crawl, I hope). I've been thinking about digging them up and giving it another try.

I’ve still got the kneepads, elbow pads and wrist thingies. Do they make butt pads?

| posted by Mary | 4/15/2003 02:55:00 PM
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