Tuesday, June 08, 2004  

Malibu Mary



Every year around this time I get an urge to try a self-tanner. I have a momentary lapse of judgment and think "Okay, so the last time I tried a sunless tanner I ended up:

a) looking like I had a rare Disease of the Skin
b) orange
c) smelling like sewage

But maybe this time it will be different!"

The whole trouble usually starts by reading an article in a fashion magazine about how far self-tanner technology has come, how they don't smell bad anymore, no more streaking, etc, etc. Lies lies lies!

Or maybe not. I am most hopeful about Savage Brozne (gag on the name) after reading many many positive reviews on the Makeup Alley website. It is cheap. It is easy to find (at Sally Beauty Supply). It is supposed to provide a subtle, natural color. And allegedly it doesn't smell like self-tanner but had a cocoa butter smell. I can deal with cocoa butter.

After dinner tonight I banished Andrew from the bathroom and spent almost an hour contorting myself into weird positions to apply the tanning mousse and then standing around with my arms and legs not touching any part of body, waiting for the stuff to dry. Sometimes it is so ridiculous being a woman.

The smell is not bad, I think. This is a major factor for me so I'm happy with it so far. Now I just have to wait a few hours for the color to develop and find out if I'm going to look like a golden-skinned goddess or an Oompa Loompa.

Anyone want to share their thoughts on tanning? Do you lay out in the sun or go to a tanning bed? Use self-tanner? Or are comfortable with your own skin and just don't care?

I am pretty happy with my skin tone 99% of the time but every summer I get a little nostalgic about having a tan. I remember laying out with Hawaiian Tropic SPF 4 in high school and college and I was a lovely light brown shade from May-September. I would never do this now for fear of wrinkles, sun spots, skin-cancer, etc, but sometimes I miss having a tan. My husband is The Whitest Man on Earth, with skin that burns to a crisp if we even talk about direct sunlight and he does not understand this tan thing at all. Which is probably good for me, keeps the temptation even further away.

Okay...I'm off to go flap my arms around a few more times for good mesaure and then don a yucky old t-shirt and a ratty pair of pajama bottoms. My hair is pulled up on a knot on the top of my head with my bangs sprouting every whichway and I have dots of Clearasil on my chin. Isn't Andrew a lucky man to be getting into bed with me?!?

Will be sure to report back on skin color, general appearance and odor in the morning.

| posted by Mary | 6/08/2004 09:36:00 PM
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